EX FILES

Dear Susan and Valerie,
My husband and I are getting divorced. He and his girlfriend (who is his assistant) have planned a week long ski vacation during the children’s winter break. Our kids are 10 and 12 and he wants to take them along. I don’t want my children around a tramp who dates married men and breaks up families. If he wants to take them skiing, that’s fine—but not with her. He has told me he will not change his plans. What can I do to stop my children from going with them?
An Angry Mom

Dear Angry Mom,
Take a deep breath and now exhale. As difficult as it may be to accept, it’s a free country, there’s no reason he can’t plan a vacation with his new romantic interest. Step back and let your children form their own opinions. You may be surprised. It could be that after one week with Dad and his paramour, they’ll tell Dad that their interest in visiting with him has changed. Children have amazing antennae and instincts. They may not like the competition. Trust your kids. He has moved on but he still has the right to be a father. If he fails to recognize your children’s needs for “alone time” with him, he may find the children won’t have time for him either. On the other hand, it’s possible that the trip will be a fun vacation for your children. Recognize, that is not a threat to you. Just make sure of the arrangements (the kids need their own bedroom and supervision), that you have detailed hotel and flight information, and you and the kids have contact information so that you can call each other. You are their mom and always will be. Bundle up your babies, give them a kiss and tell them not to break a leg.