Advice, Tips and Smart Stuff

Ten pointers and reminders for life survival during divorce: 

1. Friends and family will likely take sides and you should know whose side they take. Brace yourself for a few surprises.

2. Money will always be an issue on some level.

3. Once you have a good attorney who you trust, listen to him or her and don’t improvise.

4. Resist the temptation to use any form of social media (eg. Facebook, Twitter, etc) to rant, rave, vent or tell any details (large or small) about your personal life and your divorce.

5. You and your spouse may succeed in being friendly, but you will probably never be friends. Be clear on the distinction.

6. You may say never again– but be prepared that at some point you will want to date. It’s all right to be cautious but let yourself slowly dip a toe back in the water.

7. Your children will be unhappy but they will adjust and adapt. Don’t overlook the possibility that they may benefit from neutral, professional help and support for the transition.

 8. You will feel different in relation to the world. It’s to be expected. You’ll carve out a niche for yourself in the new role as an unmarried person.

9. Don’t rush to make decisions, don’t rush to rebuild and don’t rush the divorce. It’s all a process and accelerating the pace can lead to bad choices.

 10. Find people and activities that are healthy and fun distractions so that you have something to look forward to and to use positive energy.